Archived: G-Torphins, great work for charity. 2003

Time to let you all know of an upcoming, world beating event for charity.

Bacon bassist G-Torphins is preparing himself, as we speak, to complete a
sponsored heroin overdose.

The event will take place on January 21st 2003. The location is as yet
undecided but round the back of the burger king on union street would seem
likely.

Please tell all your friends, we will send out sponsor sheets to all
interested parties very soon. We at the House Of Smokey Bacon are prepared
to sponsor, the ever brave, G-T up to 40p per shot of skeg into his
gin-ridden veins and with the quality of skeg found in the toon, that should
make a tidy profit before he collapses.

All proceeds go to the House Of Smokey Bacon's usual charity:

"The Roy Castle Ciggies for Kiddies hospice".
Doing good work to ensure a good, wholesome nicoteen stained future for
Britain.

To add a touch more sparkle to the proceedings brave G-T will only use
needles collected next to the benches in union terrace gardens. The
increased risk will surely put any professional dare-devils to shame.

Why not go the full hog, for £10 we can personalise a shot just for you or
perhaps a loved one. If G-T collapses on that shot you may receive a
windfall of £4!!!! IMAGINE THAT! £4!!!!!!!

Come one, come all to the charity showing of a lifetime, move over Bob
geldof and midge ure - it's Smokey Bacon's turn and we're ready to shite all
over your ethiopian nonsense.

C'mon G-T we're all right behind you, think of the kiddies!

------------------------------------UPDATE--------------------------------------------

G-Torphins did, indeed, complete his smack-a-thon and with 20 shots of bad smack into him - he raised as much as £8 for The Roy Castle Ciggies for Kiddies hospice.