SUMMER 2006 SMOKEY BACON merchandize catalogue:

Here it is!!! Now available online for your purchasing convenience.

Remember all goods are available via money and we accept cash only.

SUMMER 2006 SMOKEY BACON merchandize catalogue:

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Smokey bacon jar of wasps. Yup, again, last years favorite. Be the first on your street, again, with wasps this year. 5 wasps/ jar as usual. These wasps are even angrier than last year's, again. £76.66/ jar.

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Smokey bacon Pig's hoofs paperweights. Produced to look and feel exactly like the real thing. Keep messy bits of paper under control with these "replica" pig hoofs. The blood may smell real but it is!!! There is NO catch. £19.99 each or pack of 4 for an hundred notes.

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Smokey Bacon Cat Hammer. Finding it hard to train that kitten or cat? Simply pay, through the nose, for this new Smokey Bacon Cat Hammer. £59.99/ hammer.

"It's amazing, I had an out of control kitten. Now I have the Smokey Bacon cat hammer and no longer will that little fucker be playing the cunt, I can tell you." - Mrs Chimmel, Sussex.

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Smokey Bacon Queen mum commemorative statuette. This beautiful little figurine depicts the queen mum enjoying a flutter on the 'orses. The statuette is made entirely from Smokey bacon apart from 'er 'ands, which are real tramp's hands, and she looks at you and you can touch her hands etc etc £453.99 / queen mum. **** EVERY TENTH TATUETTE SENT OUT WILL COME IN A LIMITED EDITION REAL SWANS BELLY STORAGE SACK*****

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Our most loyal fans may remember that when Smokey Bacon first burst out into the mainstream underworld hardcore genre of skullcore-bassomatic-xtreme-noise-shards-of-metal-heptobass extravaganza combo sets, our first review described our music as "An eel shitting on a goose's hoof". Well, now we can offer an amazing ceramic ornament scene depicting this very situation. Oh yes. Limited quantities available!!!! £99.99 per eel shitting on a goose's hoof set.

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Smokey Bacon "WALT DISNEY TOUCHED MY YOUNG FUD" t-shirts. Back due to popular demand. Have your say on the streets in these stylish new designer t-shirts. Back print shows Walt actually touching YOUR own, young, fud. Front print depicts walt turning down various cultural minorities in the area of employment. £34.99/ shirt. £67.99 long sleeved version.

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Smokey Bacon Kevin Costner "waterworld" flipper and snorkel set. Visit kev's magical under water world with this amazing offer. Lesbian flippers available on request. £112.99/set.

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Smokey Bacon fighting bitches. £77.89/pair.

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Smokey bacon wolf bait. Attract wolves from afare. Monkey shight. £34 /kg

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There you have it , a bumper crop of Smokey Bacon treats for yous all. All the usual Smokey Bacon stickers, hats, mugs, tshirts, entrails, skulls, bits of plastic and crud are always fucking available at new knock-up prices.

BUY NOW!

BUY MUCH!

BUY AGAIN!

BUY SMOKEY BACON!