In an attempt to "bring the kettle from the boil", as it were, in the middle east, the United States and Britain have assembled a quick-hit, in- 'n -out, fast hitting peace squad and sent them direct to Tel Aviv. Senior embassador for Britain Kate Moss and American facist shit Candanalooza Rise were accompanied by Miss Rise's new personal assistant 'Mr Frankie', the parrot, on their Flash Gordon-esque crusade to save the universe.
Miss Moss's main British idea is to erect the standard British army 200 ft concrete Pat Butcher on the Israeli/Lebanese border, this would divert the cross fire away from civilians creating an umbrella of peace within the warzone. This would prove far more effective that the US's 'Patriot' missile system that is more costly and shighter. It is also believed that the British army have been testing a 450ft re-inforced concrete Russell Grant, but it was reported that the blocking of the sun and subsequent shadow cast was so vast and bleak that it changed the weather to constant winter.
To keep the peace brigade up to date after their flight, the trio where fully briefed on all intelligence aspects, on the way from Tel Aviv airport, by their taxi driver, Jehlmal, 'Who has been doing a shit in the back of my cab? eh? DIRTY!'.
Miss Moss gave us an exclusive statement, this morning: " This could turn into a real wingdinger if somebody dont step up and say somefing for Christ sake's there's kiddies caught in the middle and some British folk, holidaying on the superb Lebanese beaches. We would like to take a minut............... -STOP IT MR FRANKIE! I DON'T OWE YOU MONEY FOR THAT CHARLIE-, sorry bout that, it's Mr Frankie, he thinks he controls me cos of my habit, -I SWEAR ON MY LIFE, I NEVER TOOK THAT CHARLIE MR FRANKIE, LEAVE ME ALONE!-Jesus Christ, I tell you, that parrots fucking psycho, as everyone knows i don't do that anymore. Anyway, as I was saying, we need to open discussions with representatives from both sides in this confli ....................................-ARG! NO! MR FRANKIE! NO! OK! OK! HERE'S YOUR FUCKING MONEY YOU PSYCHO, ARGH. WHAT? NO! I NEVER WENT NEAR YOUR WIFE MR FRANKIE, SHE'S A FUCKING PARROT FOR FUCK'S SAKE. NO, NOT MY FACE! OK, OK! WE DID IT! NOT THE FACE MR FRANKIE! WE DID IT! IN YOUR BED MR FRANKIE, ARRRRGGGGGH! NO, NOT MY FACE."
Preliminary talks with Israeli/Lebanese representatives, apparently, did not start well as Mr Frankie had brought along his home-made poster, bearing the slogan: 'FUCK BOTH YOUR SHIGHT RELIGIONS, YOU FUCKS'.
Has Mr Frankie gone to far this time? Is the peace prospect in jeopardy?
Where's the beef?
HAVE YOUR SAY, at the House Of Bacon.
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